When you are a child, live a beautiful life, study well, love you friends, relatives, enjoy life ... and suddenly the most terrible thing happens in your life, named - cancer.
It behaves in a treacherous way and takes away your best years and sometimes even life ... It happened to me... On April7, 2014. You hear horrified mother's crying, who cannot tell you any word... You are confused and watch her suffer... This is horrible. Then you fell into hell. It starts with deadly chemotherapy, which destructs everything, you endure all the pain, strange feeling and the only question you ask is: Lord, why me? The days I spent in the clinic are the most critical for me. Chemotherapy is fight with death. You are sitting next to the clinic's windows and are looking at the other people who are wondering about what to wear at the wedding, how to repay to their neighbours... and again, Lord, why? Why should I be jealous of the peers, the people and you are like a dog in front of the transfusion and suffer.
17 chemotherapy courses, 15 anesthesias, 3 operations have passed... Friends, relatives are wondering about your condition but it messes you up, because you realize that in actuality nobody understands the feeling you have. You will never know until you feel it yourself.
Mostly I was thinking about one thing - I'm too little, I didn't commit anything bad... Then you calm yourself with a thought that it was necessary, nothing happens without any reason, it is a test from the God. This helps you to learn how to live.
Terrible words - You can't! school, relationship with kids, classmates, walking with them - you can't.
I had surgery on my leg for Ewing sarcoma in France. For along time I had to walk with crutchs and without any hair. When you walk outside, you feel people's worrying look. They start whispering to eachother: what happened to her? will she be okay? whyBriefly, I had lot of trouble, but I never complain.
I think that it's the first time when I complain, probably because when I thought that it was over, in reality it didn't. Now I am in the ward next to the transfusion equipment. I know that everything will be fine, all these will be over and my mood will become better. I am saying to myself don't surrender...So, I'm listening to Naniko, with my mother and grandmother beside me... Together with my pain. I fell in love with the life, as it really is! It was worth it!
Naniko Toronjadze, 14 years old
